


Facing Darkness

by tainted-tash (tainted_tash)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-03
Updated: 2018-02-03
Packaged: 2019-03-13 02:01:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13560312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tainted_tash/pseuds/tainted-tash
Summary: After learning the truth about his scar, Harry must now face the prospect that he may not survive the war after all.





	Facing Darkness

**Author's Note:**

> Hey you guys! So, this is a little one-shot I put together (‘cause I hit a brick wall with Avengers and needed a break). I promise I will be returning to it soon. 
> 
> As always, nothing HP related belongs to me, I would not take from our beloved Queen JK Rowling. No copyright infringement is intended.

The truth was finally known- it was undeniable that Harry had no alternative now. There was no way the war could ever end if Harry didn’t make the ultimate sacrifice. But, he was frightened and the mere thought that his life was over before he’d reach eighteen was horrible.

He wandered the halls of Hogwarts aimlessly, his mind mulling over everything and nothing. Why hadn’t Dumbledore told him before? Why had he been left thinking that there would be a happy ending to this war, when no doubt the aged headmaster had known the truth for some time?

The conversation he had just had with the headmaster could not have heralded any worse news. On the night that Voldemort went to Godric’s Hollow to murder him as a baby, when the spell to kill him had rebounded and stripped Voldemort of his body, a piece of his soul had broken off and attached itself to the only living thing in the room- Harry himself.

So, after months of hunting all of Voldemort’s horcruxes, the battle would never be over unless Harry offered himself up to be slaughtered. The only way that it could end would be for Harry to die, by Voldemort’s own hand, and the horcrux that lived inside him would be destroyed once and for all, leaving Voldemort mortal once more.

All the misery of living with the Dursley’s and enduring through their endless torture seemed completely pointless now. Like it had all been for nothing, and his pleas had fallen on deaf ears because Dumbledore had known the truth all along, Harry was sure of it.

Why else had he not been taken away from them when Harry had repeatedly told the headmaster how he was treated there? Sure, in the beginning it could have been taken as the exaggerations of a child seeking attention, and even in second year, it might have just been a boy not liking his relatives. 

But when Harry had turned up every start of the school year looking gaunter than the previous one, surely alarm bells should have been ringing? Not that any of it mattered now, it was a mere matter of time before the opportune moment would arise and Harry could take himself like a lamb to slaughter to meet his end.

The headmaster had played it all so well, knowing that with Harry’s hero complex, he would do it, no questions asked. He’d watched year after year as Harry become more horrified by the deaths that happened around him. It seemed that Sirius had been the breaking point in it all, the death of his beloved godfather had hardened Harry, made him realise in the end that this war had to end soon, and now it seemed it would be happening with Harry joining Sirius in the afterlife, or whatever awaited him beyond this life.

“Potter?” 

“Not today, Malfoy,” Harry answered dully.

Had Harry of looked back at the blond Malfoy heir, he’d have seen an expression of shock that would have normally had him in stitches. When Harry did finally glance up, it was to realise that his aimless walking had led him to the dungeons. 

More specifically, Snape’s classroom. It was hilariously ironic, no one could willingly get Harry down in the dungeons even when he had lessons, and now, in his time of crisis, he seemed to subconsciously seek the caustic man out. Maybe because Snape was the one person who would say things how they were, no beating about the bush and no veiled comments.

Before he’d even processed what he was doing, Harry’s hand had risen and knocked on the thick door to the classroom. Harry had to wait all of three seconds before the door was wrenched open and Snape’s scowling face appeared.

“Potter? What are you doing here? Do not tell me you have managed to get detention on a Saturday?” He sneered down at the sixteen-year-old.

Harry gave a wonky grin. “No, sir, I just…can I come in for a few minutes? Please?”

Snape seemed ready to send Harry packing, but something about the plea seemed to soften the Potions Master and he widened the door so Harry could slip through. 

“This had better be important, Potter, I have potions awaiting my attention.”

Harry sighed and sat down on a desk edge, his face shuttered. “I’ve just come back from seeing the headmaster. I know, Snape, I know it all.”

Snape closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I see, you best come through then.”

He took Harry down to the lab and set the potions that he was brewing on stasis and pulled a hidden bottle of Firewhiskey out a drawer. “Sit down on the bench.”

Harry did as he was told and took the proffered glass when one was held out to him, holding a healthy measure of the amber liquid. Harry knocked it back in one swallow, the burn it made to his stomach helping him to gather his thoughts.

“How long have you known?” He asked.

Snape didn’t need to ask what Harry was referring to. “Since the beginning of your fifth year.”

Harry nodded and held his glass out for a refill, which Snape filled and merely raised an eyebrow. 

“How did it feel to realise that all your years of protecting me were for nought?”

Snape’s other eyebrow joined the first and he sat down opposite Harry. “Angry, no furious. I made a promise to your mother that I would protect you no matter what. I understand that Albus has to see the bigger picture, but I will not lie, it infuriated me to realise that no matter what I did, there was nothing I could do to keep that promise.”

Green eyes filled with pain and Harry gave a gentle smile. “I don’t hold you responsible for their deaths, Snape.”

The Potions Master sucked in a harsh breath and waited a moment to compose his thoughts before saying something. “Potter, their deaths are on my hands.”

“No, you were young, even foolish and hurt, but not responsible. You did everything you could to rectify a poor decision, it’s just unfortunate that it didn’t work.”

“Why are you here, Potter?”

Harry shrugged. “Because I knew that you’d give me the uncensored version of what Dumbledore said. I knew that you wouldn’t lie to me.”

“I may not like you, Potter, but no, I will not lie to you.”

A bitter smile crossed Harry’s lips and he shrugged again. “Yeah, I know. I guess why I’m really here is I need to make a plan- I need to sort out a way to get Voldemort to come for me. I guess Dumbledore played me well in that respect, he knew that I’d go ahead with it.”

Snape sighed and downed his drink and poured them both another one. “I don’t quite know what you think I can do to help in that respect, but I will do what I can.”

Harry laughed and clinked his glass against Snape’s. “Can you imagine my father’s face right now if he were alive? The mere idea that we are willing to work together on something for the first time since we’ve known each other.”

A wry smile flitted across Snape’s face and he nodded. “Indeed, Potter. Now, tell me what you have in mind, you wouldn’t be here if you didn’t already have some half-cocked plan in that wild head of yours.”

Harry rose to his feet and paced around the lab, hands clasped behind his back. “It really is half-cocked, which is why I need you to help me pull it off. I know that you’re still a Death Eater, sir, even if not one who supports Voldemort. You can get me inside his lair with ease.”

Snape steepled his fingers and placed his chin upon the points. “Are you sure this is a wise decision?”

Harry paused in his pacing and frowned. “What? It’s the easiest and quickest way to end this.”

“No,” Snape said. “That isn’t what I meant. Have you considered simply leaving? This fight is not yours, Potter. The Dark Lord targeted you from a mere child, this war has never been your cross to bear.”

Leaning against the wall, Harry folded his arms over his chest and cocked his head. “Come on, sir. This war has always been about me, from the very moment Voldemort found out I could defeat him, he’s made it his personal mission to fuck up my life in as many ways as possible. How many more people need to die because of me? Because they were protecting me?”

Silence reigned for several moments before Snape responded. “Run away, Potter. Pack a bag and just leave. This war is not worth your life!” He hissed.

Harry raised a quizzical brow. “Since when did you become so passionate about whether I live or die?”

Snape flushed red in anger and a vein throbbed in his forehead. “You, insolent, little whelp! I have spent the last five years keeping your hide alive! Do you really think I want to see all that go to waste?”

Harry shrugged and sat back down, thunking heavily on the wooden seat. “Sorry, sir, I didn’t mean it like that. I just…can you get me to Voldemort or not?”

Snape swallowed audibly and nodded. “Yes, but it cannot be too soon, it would look suspicious if I suddenly just dragged you before him. I will come up with something that will allow me the time to ‘grab’ you and take you to him. After that, it’s up to you what happens. You can fight or flee, but no grudges will be held against you if you choose to run and live. You are a teenager, Potter, not some mercenary who can kill another person, even though they deserve it.”

Harry turned and walked out of the door with no further comment. One of the hardest things that he would ever have to do would be to take another life, and in all honesty, he wasn’t entirely sure that he was ready to do that. But it was either that or run and hide like some mongrel with his tail tucked between his legs.

And if there was one thing that Harry was not, was a coward. He had always faced things head on and that was not about to change now, even though his own death was imminent. He would give himself but a few days to solidify the plan and with or without Snape’s help, Harry would make sure that Voldemort would no longer be able to terrorise the wizarding world as he had for so long. 

As he passed the entrance to the Slytherin common room, he saw Malfoy making faces at him with his goons. When the blond stepped in his path to block him, Harry cocked a fist and let it fly in his face. “I told you not today, Malfoy. Go pester some other poor fuck who can actually be bothered with your pathetic attitude.”

This time he did get to see the shocked face on the thin face of Draco Malfoy, and it had him laughing for some time before he was calm enough to tell Hermione and Ron what had happened. By the end of that explanation, Harry had dealt with Hermione’s tears and Ron’s temper at the injustice of it all. In the end, Harry just wanted to go to bed and have a good night’s sleep.

 

Harry managed to concoct the plan with Snape and have it ready to be put into action within a fortnight. It was risky, damn risky, but it was the best one that they had and as things stood, it was better than nothing. 

He’d begged Snape to tell no one of what they were doing, not even the headmaster. He certainly didn’t need the old man to be putting in his five sickles worth and have their plan shot to hell because he inadvertently did something that could spiral the whole thing into a nose dive.

It was unfortunate that he would have to use Hagrid to get his plan to work, and he felt horrible at the guilt he was going to put his first ever friend through, but it was war, and as Dumbledore always said, war meant that sometimes, sacrifices had to be made. Harry had learnt that the hard way.

The pair would venture into the Forbidden Forest after Harry would make sure he got detention through Snape, who would assign it with Hagrid in the forest. The Potions Master would be lying in wait, full Death Eater garb so he wouldn’t be recognised, and snatch Harry, taking him before Voldemort.

After that, it would be plain sailing. It really wouldn’t be all that difficult to get the Dark Lord to kill him, after all, he’d been wanting to do that for so long now. Harry guessed, in a way, that he would find the peace he had wanted, just not in the way he wanted. He was young, he wanted to live, but it seemed that it was not to be. 

The night before Harry would get himself detention found the teenager roaming the halls in the dead of the night, his mind working too hard for him to be able to sleep. His feet carried him down to the dungeons and Harry was safely ensconced in Snape’s rooms before he’d even realised it, his look of confusion causing the surly man to quirk his lips in a slight smile of amusement.

“Unable to sleep?”

Harry nodded. “Yeah. You?”

“The same. It’s not too late for you to bow out, Potter.”

“No, I can’t do that and you know it. Things can’t continue the way they have, in our world. People are even afraid to go into Diagon Alley now, too scared to do anything normal for fear they might be attacked. My friends are under a constant cloud of doom, Voldemort wouldn’t think twice to kidnapping and torturing them to get me to appear.”

Snape nodded and sighed heavily, the fire in the grate casting shadows over his angular face. “Potter…we have had our differences over the years, but in this moment, I wish there were some words of courage that I could offer you.”

The teen chortled quietly. “It’s fine, Snape. There’s nothing you really can say that will make this any easier, or give me the courage I need. Except maybe Firewhiskey.”

Snape pulled out a bottle and two tumblers. “What times we are in when I am willingly giving a student alcohol.”

Harry laughed and clinked his glass with Snape’s. “Speaking of times, is everything in place?”

“Yes, you simply need to get detention.”

Harry raised an eyebrow. “Professor, I don’t mean to be insulting, but I need only breathe in your general direction and you give me detention.”

Snape laughed throatily, sending shivers down Harry’s spine, pleasurable ones. “Indeed, Potter.”

Harry swirled the liquid in his glass and stared at it, a small frown marring his forehead. “There’s a lot of things in my life that I regret, Professor. But I think the one thing that I regret the most is betraying your privacy and looking in your Pensieve. Not because I was upset at the perfect image I had of my father dashed, but because I betrayed you. In that moment, I did something that could never be rectified. I guess what I’m trying to say is I’m sorry, and if I could take it back, I would.”

Snape looked completely gobsmacked, his eyes wide and mouth open slightly, with no words emerging. Harry smiled amusedly until Snape gathered his wits.

“Thank you, Potter.”

Harry grinned and set his glass on the table. “I really wish things had been different.”

2  
Snape understood what he meant. “You know I had to play the mean bastard well.”

“I know- I wasn’t blaming you. Just that I wonder about what things would have been like had we not been at each other’s throats all the time.”

Snape nodded slowly and laid his own glass down. “I imagine they would have been easier, but life isn’t easy, Potter, surely you have learnt that by now?”

A bitter smile twisted Harry’s lips. “Yes, I have. I think it is safe to say that my life has been very unfair, and yet, I am still here. For now...”

The reality of what would be happening crashed over them both and Harry blinked back the tears that misted his eyes. “I don’t want to die,” he whispered brokenly.

Unable to remain stoic, Snape dropped to his knees in front of Harry’s chair and pulled the boy into his lap. “Run, Harry. Just pack a bag and leave.”

“I can’t, you know that. How can I run away when everyone here will pay the price? Voldemort will kill anyone to get to me, I’m pretty sure he’d kill the entire wizarding population to get rid of me.”

Snape carded a hand through the thick waves of Harry’s hair. “You’re sixteen, Harry, this is not something that should be falling to you. We’ll find another way to extract the Horcrux from you, then Albus can destroy the Dark Lord.”

Harry smiled softly at him, the drink warming him through. “No, I think I always knew that in the end, it would always be between me and him. Did you know Neville was also born on July thirty-first?”

Snape nodded. “I did, it was a toss up between his parents and yours, but your father was a powerful Auror and that was the deciding factor in which child he was going to end.”

Giving a soft hiccup, he laughed and patted Snape’s cheek. “Hmm. I wonder how different things would be if he had gone after Neville. Mum and dad would be alive, but you’d still be a Death Eater, a real one, I mean.”

“Possibly, yes. It was my love for you mother that made me turn the corner. And, in all honesty, from what I’ve found in your head, the Dark Lord did give her a chance to leave, but I knew that she would never leave you. Your mother was fierce in her protection of you, and so proud of your achievements as a baby.”

Frowning, Harry peered up at him, still in the professor’s lap. “How do you know about my baby things?”

The barest hint of a smile twitched at his lips. “Even though she was angry with me, your mother still wrote me with all the things you did. Your first smile, your first word, your first step, your first toy broom ride, your first everything.”

“You were in love with her,” Harry said softly.

Snape nodded and hummed quietly, dark eyes unusually open with expression. “Yes, I was. But, we were not meant to be together. The events that led us here to today, to this moment are what have shaped us both. And, for better or worse, we will do what is necessary.”

Harry looked down at his hands. “So, you understand why I have to do this?”

Pressure on his head alerted Harry to Snape resting his chin on it. “Yes, I do. I don’t like it, I gave my word I would keep you safe, and I’m taking you to your death.”

He shrugged, trying not to dislodge the comforting weight of Snape’s chin on his head. “Yeah, I know. At least I’ll get to meet them.”

Snape took a shaky breath. “Indeed. You will have much to discuss in the great beyond, as they call it. I have something for you.”

Something whipped past his head and smacked softly into Snape’s outstretched hand. “Albus does not know it’s missing, but this is something I feel will benefit you.”

He upturned the small bag and a tiny, pitch black stone tumbled out into the other hand, and was held in front of Harry’s face. “What is it?”

Snape made a noise of discontent and grumbled about lack of book reading as a child. “It is called the Resurrection Stone. There’s a book called Tales of Beadle the Bard, in it is a story of three brothers who were wizards. They cheated Death of their lives where most people who had to cross a river often drowned, they used their magic to form a bridge. Death was unhappy with them, but instead of expressing his displeasure, he offered the three men gifts for their superior magical skills. The eldest brother wanted a wand more powerful than any other, so Death made it from a nearby Elder tree. The second brother wanted a way to recall his dead loves ones, and so Death plucked a stone from the river and handed it over. The youngest brother did not want riches or anything to make him the most powerful, he simply wanted a way to leave the river and not be followed by Death.”

Harry listened with rapt attention, his eyes wide and staring up at Snape, drinking in every word. “Who were they?”

“They were the Peverell brothers, Antioch, Cadmus and Ignotus.”

“Okay, sorry, didn’t mean to interrupt.”

“It was with great reluctance that Death removed some of the material of his cloak and handed it to the youngest brother. The first brother boasted about his power, killing a man who he had once fought with. Later that night, another wizard stole into his room and murdered him in his sleep, thus Death took the life of the first brother. The second brother took home his stone and turned it three times in hand, the form of the woman he had loves dearly before her untimely death appeared before him. She seemed happy at first, but soon grew sad. She didn’t belong in the world of the living and longed to leave. And so, the second brother hung himself so he could be with her once again, and Death took the second brother’s life. The youngest brother left the river that day and Death searched long and hard for him. Once he had aged and felt ready, he shed the cloak and handed it to his son, greeting Death as an old friend, and they left the world as equals. The three items are the Elder Wand, the Resurrection Stone, and the Cloak of Invisibility. The person who obtains all three of them is known as the Master of Death.”

“Do all these still exist?” Harry asked excitedly.

Snape nodded. “It is theorised that the three Hallows are still in circulation. You, in fact, own one.”

Harry frowned and cocked his head. “My cloak?”

Snape nodded again. “Yes. There are cloaks of invisibility that can be bought for a high price, but none as finely made as the one you possess. Or as old.”

“What about the stone and the wand though?” Harry asked.

“The stone hasn’t been seen for decades, Harry. No one knew where it was, or the last person who had it. However, it did recently make an appearance, and now you hold it,” Snape said vaguely. “More importantly, the wand,” he hinted.

“The Elder Wand? I’ve never heard of any wand being more powerful than all others. I know mine and Voldemort’s always clash, but that’s because we share a core- phoenix feather- from the same phoenix.”

Snape nodded and his lips twitched. “Indeed, incidentally, when your wands were made, Fawkes shed two feathers.”

Harry’s eyes went wide. “Fawkes? Dumbledore’s familiar?”

“Yes, Fawkes is your commonality. Strange, isn’t it, that Dumbledore would be the owner of the creature who has stopped the Dark Lord from already killing you? Your fourth year, when your wands collided, I recall you telling of the ghosts of those whom he had murdered showing themselves,” Snape said quietly.

Harry nodded, his eyes misting slightly. “Yeah, mum and dad, and Cedric, the old man who looked after the Riddle house. They just kept coming, there were so many.”

Snape nodded sadly. “The Dark Lord has killed many times, Harry. But going back to the wand. Who is the most powerful person you know?”

“Voldemort,” Harry bit out.

“Perhaps, but who is the Dark Lord afraid of, Harry? Who is the one person he is scared to go up against?”

Harry sat and pondered it, the wheels in his brain turning. “Dumbledore’s wand!” He cried suddenly. 

Snape nodded. “Yes, Albus obtained the wand a great many years ago when he defeated Gellert Grindlewald. The stone belonged to one of the Gaunt men, I believe it was Merope’s father, it recently turned up on the Gaunt family ring.”

“And my cloak, right?”

He nodded again. “Yes, your father, now you, are descendants of Ignotus Peverell, the youngest of the three brothers.”

“So, I have two of the items.”

“Hallows, Harry. They’re called the Deathly Hallows.”

“Oh, okay. I don’t understand why you’re giving the stone to me though, it’s not like I can do much with it.”

Snape laughed softly. “Like I said, Albus has no idea it’s missing. But he will after a while. Can you think of no one you’d want to see before you leave tomorrow?”

Harry looked at the tiny stony in his hand, wondering who it was he’d want to see before he died. “No, sir. I’ll be seeing them anyway.”

“Hang on to it, anyway. Perhaps it will give you some comfort. I’ve set up the spare room next to mine, feel free to stay here for tonight.”

Climbing to his feet, Harry unsteadily wobbled before he found his balance. “Thank you. I think I’ll go to bed now, bit wobbly.”

Snape laughed again and nodded. “Indeed, you are. Off with you then, I’ll wake you when it’s time for breakfast.”

Harry made for his room, pausing as he reached it and turning back. “Professor?”

Dark eyes met his. “I think, given the status of things, you can call me Severus.”

“Severus?”

“Yes, Harry?”

“You asked me if there was no one I wanted to see before I die tomorrow?”

Snape sighed. “Not quite what I meant, but yes.”

“I’m happy that I get to see you before it’s time. I think, if there was anyone I would want to see before I died, it would be you.”

That said, Harry stumbled through the door and toppled onto his bed, the stone falling away as the door softly closed itself behind him, Harry’s snores quickly filling the rooms.

Snape busied himself with tidying their effects away from their drinking and discussions. He paused when his hand wrapped around the small tumbler Harry had been drinking from. Anger surged through him, the glass flung into the fireplace where it shattered.

“On my life, Albus. I am never going to forgive you for this,” he growled.

The rooms were silent save for Harry’s snoring, and Snape slammed the door to his own bedroom, praying he would find some semblance of sleep before the dawn came.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Harry woke with a splitting headache to Severus banging on his door. He rolled to the edge of the bed and to his feet, wrenching open the door. “You don’t need to knock it down, I’m awake!” He hissed.

Severus smirked. “I was knocking for ten minutes before I started banging. Shower and change, there’s clothes in the bathroom. You’ll also find a hangover cure on the sink next to the bathtub, get moving.”

He skulked off and downed the potion, bemoaned its awful taste, showered in record time and dressed. He was back out and sitting at the small dining table in less than half an hour. Harry was surprised at his lack of nerves and put it down to the alcohol of last night, a little Dutch courage as the Muggles called it.

A plate of waffles was placed in front of him by an elf, the creature giving him a slight smile before it popped away again. He ate some, chewing slowly before he pushed the plate away and looked at Severus. The man was pale, his eyes dark and shuttered, and his lips turned down. 

“We have some time before we have to face the day, is there anything you would like to do?” The man asked gently.

“There are plenty of things I wanted to do before I died, don’t think there’s any point doing anything now, do you?” Harry asked cynically.

Severus gave a heavy sigh and glared at him. “Harry, I understand that this is an extremely dark day, but in bringing something bright to it, I am attempting to give you some comfort.”

Green eyes flickered to his and saddened. “I’m sorry, I just don’t really know what would be appropriate.”

A wry smile formed on Severus’ lips. “There is nothing that should be deemed inappropriate for today, name it and I’ll see what I can do.”

Harry sat and thought about it, nibbling on his waffles a little more. There were so many things he wanted to do, but he was pressed for time, he couldn’t hide away here forever. Well, he could, couldn’t he? Severus wouldn’t force him to leave for his date with Voldemort, the man had all but begged him to run. 

But as soon as the thought flitted through his mind, Harry banished it. Even though he knew he was playing the role Dumbledore wanted him to, he couldn’t bring himself to abandon his friends, and leave the world to pay for his cowardice with their lives.

Oddly, the kiss with Cho Chang crossed his mind, and the disappointment he had felt at realising there was nothing special about it.

“Have you ever kissed someone?” He asked suddenly.

Severus choked on his coffee and went bright red as he tried to clear his airway of the hot liquid. “Bloody hell, Potter! Where did that come from?” He gasped, wiping his eyes of moisture from choking.

“I don’t know. I just…I wondered if your experience was any different.”

Putting his mug down, Severus folded his hands on the table. “Yes, I have kissed someone. Long after the love I felt for your mother passed, after her death, I found myself in a relationship with a delightful witch and wizard. The two were a married couple looking to entice a third to join them, the marriage somewhat stale and lacking.”

Harry flushed bright red and awkwardly asked about the time with them.

“I was with the pair for a couple of years, under the radar of course. No one knew of their existence in my life, and no one in their lives knew about me. Being a Death Eater made my loved one’s targets, so in keeping silent about them, they were safe, along with the daughter they had.”

“Was she yours?”

Severus shook his head. “No, Harry. I was always extremely careful to ensure I could never impregnate Samara, I couldn’t ever do what I did as a Death Eater turned spy if I had an infant dependent on me.”

“I think a tiny copy of you would be sweet,” Harry chuckled.

He smiled and shrugged. “I guess we’ll never know. Darren was an amazing father, perfect husband and wonderful partner. I helped raise their daughter where I could, and left when the dangers grew too much. When I realised that I was struggling to maintain the persona of a Death Eater, I told them to run, Obliviated their memories of me, and sent them off.”

“But…couldn’t you have just gone with them?”

Severus shook his head. “You were already with those Muggles you call relatives, and I needed to be around to make sure the Dark Lord did not find a way to get to you. As much as I loved Samara and Darren, I could not bring myself to leave you vulnerable.”

Harry frowned. “But the baby? Surely you would have gone for her?”

“Had they asked me to, I would have, but I think they knew how important my promise to your mother was. And their daughter had them both to out for her, to raise her- you had no one.”

Harry frowned slightly, noticing something in the way Severus spoke of them. “Why can’t you say her name?”

Severus blinked a few times before he caught on. “Ah, the daughter. I made it so that her name is Taboo to only me. If I ever said name, the Obliviate would be lifted. I did this so that if there was ever a time I could return to them, I would do so.”

Harry grabbed Severus’ folded hands and held tight. “You can! After today, you can go to them!”

Smiling sadly, the older wizard shook his head. “No, I cannot. Trying to integrate myself back into their lives would be too much now. She will be too old to recall me, and Samara and Darren will undoubtedly have more children by now. It is better I remain here.”

“But, you deserve to be happy, Severus.”

“I am, Harry. To a degree, anyway. I don’t have the happiness they do, but in a way, I found my own. If I died today, I would have done everything I needed to, and would be able to go on in peace.”

The idea that a man with so much dark history could die happy was astounding to Harry. He was only sixteen with so much left to do, and he knew that today would be his end- he had done nothing he’d wanted to.

“Anyway, going back to your original question, why did you want to know if I had kissed someone?” Severus asked.

Harry frowned a second. “Oh, yeah. Well, in my fifth year, I kissed this girl- Cho Chang- and I was kind of disappointed.”

“In her ability or yours?”

Harry flushed. “Both, I guess. She was crying, and it was half-hearted. At first, I thought she was crying because I was doing so badly, but then she said Cedric’s name and I knew she was wishing I was him.”

“Ah, I see. Your first kiss was spent with the girl wishing she was with someone else- that’s quite a kick to your ego.”

He shrugged and released Severus’ hands quickly, forgetting he was still holding the folded appendages. “Not really, just that I never got the chance to get a do-over. With someone else, I mean.”

Severus nodded slowly. “You wish to be able to have a connection with someone.”

It wasn’t a question but Harry nodded. “Yeah. Exactly.”

The professor steepled his fingers and sighed, unsure how best to proceed with such a desire. “Is there someone in the school you desire to kiss?”

Harry laughed and shook his head. “No, Hermione is my best friend and it would be weird, and I’ve not been attracted to anyone else besides Cho.”

“Don’t make it easy on me, Potter, will you?” Severus groused. How in the name of Merlin was he supposed to fulfil such a simple wish when the boy fancied no one? 

He watched as Harry rose from the table and cleared their dishes away to the counter top, where his house-elf- Saffy- cleared them away silently. Again, he was struck with the want to beg Harry to run and leave, but he knew it’d be in vain. 

The lad couldn’t die without having even experienced a decent kiss. But how could he sort it? “What about young Miss Weasley?”

Harry grimaced and shook his head. “No, she’s Ron’s sister, and seeing Dean Thomas anyway.”

Severus could only sit in saddened silence as Harry retreated to his spare room and the door shut with a soft click. What had the world come to that a boy of sixteen who’d never had a decent kiss was being sent to die?

The insane notion of begging the Dark Lord to leave the boy alone if he left Great Britain all together flashed through his mind. Of course, it would never happen, but short of faking the boy’s death, he didn’t know what else to do.

Grumbling under his breath, Severus rose from the table and began putting their plan into motion. He made Floo calls where needed, and made sure that Harry’s friends would have some time, albeit brief, with him. 

Harry didn’t come out of the room until late lunch time when it was almost time for them to begin. His eyes were bloodshot and his skin blotchy. Severus knew immediately he’d been crying and wanted to do anything he could to take that pain away.

He reached the boy in three strides of his long legs and tipped his chin up. “Harry, I will be right with you through all this, I promise. The only time I’ll be away from you is while I’m waiting in the forest. You will not face this alone.”

Harry locked eyes with his and smiled, ever so slightly. “I know,” he whispered.

Severus recalled his mention of having a connection with someone, and saw the one between them. From being an infant, Severus had sworn to protect the boy from harm, and even though he was delivering Harry to his death, Severus saw how strongly the two were bound.

Leaning down, Severus moved the hand from under Harry’s chin to gently cup his cheek, his dark eyes closed just as his lips pressed against Harry’s. They were warm under his own, soft, and pliant. He kissed the boy, with gentle nips until the mouth opened and he slipped his tongue in. 

It was a fair few seconds before Harry responded beyond his mouth falling open, but soon his arms were wrapped around Severus’ shoulders and clinging on for dear life, his ragged breaths changing to quiet whimpers, his erection straining against his school trousers.

All too soon, Severus ended the kiss and rested his forehead against Harry’s. “Until the end,” he whispered.

Harry smiled and gave him the brightest smile he’d ever seen. “Always.”

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Severus had thought of a reason to give Harry detention, and as planned had assigned it to be helping Hagrid in the Forbidden Forest. Guilt still plagued Harry at involving the gentle giant in his plot, but there were little other ways he would be able to pull something off that would be plausible.

Besides, Harry had no desire to involve Dumbledore in his plan, and absolutely no chance he was ever going to let Ron and Hermione know what he was doing. They would try to help him, to go with him, and he did not need their deaths on his hands, even if his own death would be mere moments after.

He met Hagrid at his hut, Fang in tow, and the three set off for the forest. Hagrid had apparently been assigned with trying to get the Centaurs to move their boundary a little further away from the edge of forest. The students were agitated and having the creatures, who seemed to be arguing lot lately near them was causing some issues.

Harry knew the path they had to take would make them go right past where Severus was lying in wait to snatch Harry and drag him outside the wards where they could Disapparate. He glanced at Hagrid and smiled softly. “Hey, remember when you gave my cousin Dudley a tail?”

Hagrid huffed a laugh. “Yeah, it wa’ a brilliant moment. ‘Bout time someone brought his father down a peg o’ two, as well.”

Laughing, Harry nodded. “Yeah, but it’ll never happen.”

There was no time for any other words when Harry felt an arm snag around his waist and yank him away into the trees. He could hear Hagrid bellowing for him and Fang barking wildly, but Harry had to run for the wards boundary with Severus.

He saw the mask covering his face and sprinted faster, wanting to get outside the wards before Hagrid could alert anyone and they start searching for him. Once they broke through, Severus grabbed Harry’s arm and Disapparated them from the Hogwarts boundary.

Landing with a soft thud, Harry spotted the graveyard where Voldemort had been brought back in his fourth year. The statue of death that had held him captive was in front of them, the grave of Voldemort’s father had been desecrated, the headstone cracked and ground turned over recently.

“Potter, are you alright?”

Harry stared up into the eyes of Severus and gave a sharp nod, his heart thundering in his chest. “Yeah,” he croaked.

“Let’s run through the plan one more time. I’m going to drag you before him, undoubtedly there will be a long speech, and you must not goad him into acting sooner. He will immediately smell something is wrong, and that could be extremely bad for both of us,” Severus said quietly.

“I know, he could torture us both for hours, days even. I just want it over with.”

Severus laid a hand on his shoulder. “No, you don’t, but I understand what you mean. Lastly, eventually he is going to fire the curse. From my research on it, there is no pain, Harry.”

He swallowed thickly, eyes wide. “I forgot the stone,” he whispered.

Plucking it from his pocket, Severus handed it to him. “I found it in the room you slept in, well, Saffy found it.”

Harry took it and turned it three times, eyes closed. One name swirled in his head and he desperately needed to see him, just one last time.

“Hey, Prongslet.”

A sob escaped him, and Harry wished so strongly that he could touch his Godfather. “Hi, Sirius.”

“Are you ready?”

Harry nodded. “Yeah. Does…does it hurt?”

Sirius shook his head and smiled sadly. “No, Harry. Quicker than falling asleep.”

He swallowed. “And you’ll be there?”

Sirius cocked his head. “Of course, Harry. No one can see us except you.”

“Us?”

The shadows of Lily and James appeared beside Sirius. “Us, sweetheart,” Lily said softly.

The fear that had been clawing at his chest slowly dissipated, a sort of calm spreading over him as he looked at the shadows of his most loved ones. “Until the end?” He asked.

“Always,” Lily and Severus murmured at the same time.

Harry handed the stone back to Severus and hugged him fiercely, whispering his thanks over and over again. Severus stood solid, unmoving, and did not even attempt to wipe the tears that fell down his sallow cheeks. His eyes were glued to Harry’s head, and though he wished he could see Lily one more time, at the moment he wanted nothing more than to give Harry as much comfort as he possibly could.

But all too soon, it had to end. “Harry, we must leave now.”

Harry stepped back and cleaned his face, and reached up to gently wipe away Severus’ tears. “Okay, I’m ready. Don’t leave me.”

Severus placed the gentlest of kisses on Harry’s lips. “Wild Thestrals couldn’t pull me away. I won’t leave your side.”

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

“My Lord! Look! It’s the boy!” Bellatrix cackled gleefully.

Harry couldn’t see anything properly with Severus literally dragging him by the collar of his school robes. It hurt, and he cried out more than once when the fist holding him twisted and tightening the material around his neck.

He knew they had to be convincing, but did he really have to be so rough? Harry stood still when they came to a halt before Voldemort’s throne, and Severus removed his mask, leaving Harry to shout and curse him for being a traitor.

They played their parts well, and Harry could tell that so far, neither of them had been sniffed out. He aimed a kick at Severus’ leg which the professor deftly dodged and cuffed him round the head for it.

“Come now, Severus. No need to be so harsh on the boy. Well, well, well, this is a most unexpected turn of events. Harry Potter, the Boy-Who-Lived, come to die.”

Harry threw him a nasty glare. “I’ve hardly come of my own free will, you slimy bastard!”

Voldemort laughed, his red eyes glowing in the firelight of the lamps around the room. “Dear me, what a horrible mouth! Do you kiss your mother with that mouth? Oh, I forget, your mother is a cold corpse, rotting in the grounds of Godric’s Hollow.”

The blinding rage that Harry felt was in no way forced. He sprang free of Severus’ hold and dived for the throne, fingers curved like talons and hell-bent on taking Voldemort’s face off with them. A burning pain shot through his blood and he fell to the floor, screaming in agony.

“Crucio!”

Harry could just make out that it was Lucius Malfoy dishing out the pain, his white-blond hair standing out against the black Death Eater robes and silver mask.

“Enough, Lucius. We don’t want our guest to go insane,” Voldemort chuckled, giving Bellatrix a meaningful glance. 

Genuine fear shot down Harry’s spine while he recalled what Neville had told him in their fifth year. His parents, Alice and Frank Longbottom, had been tortured into insanity by Bellatrix. Harry did not wish the same fate on anyone, least of all himself. 

Steeling himself, Harry rose to his feet and made a break for the exit, Severus’ arm clamping like a vice around his throat and stopping him. “Calm down, Harry,” the soft voice whispered in his ear.

Doing as told, Harry went limp, his faced resigned. “Please, don’t kill me,” he begged Voldemort.

“Oh, I do like it when you beg, Harry! Do it again,” he cooed.

Harry didn’t have to fake the tears that clouded his vision. “Please, I don’t want to die. I’ll leave, I swear. I will never come back and I won’t interfere in your plans.”

Voldemort laughed coldly and smirked at him. “I’m sorry, Harry. But it’s much too late for that. You see, I know from the prophecy that one day you will be my downfall, whether it’s now or in fifty years, I cannot take that risk. And so, my dear child, you must be destroyed.”

Even though his plea had been partially real and not acted, Harry knew that nothing he said would ever get him a free pass out of there. But one thing Harry did know, he was not going to go down without a fight. As soon as he had chance, he would try to shield Severus as much as he could and take on Voldemort. 

That chance came when Voldemort started rambling on about how the rare kind of magic his mother had woken had saved little Harry Potter from death. Instead of listening, Harry slipped his wand from the sleeve of his robes and moved to stand in front of Severus.

“Hey, Tom, let’s play a game,” he called, and fired off Sectumsempra.

The nasty cutting curse whizzed past the Dark Lord’s head and destroyed a tapestry that hung behind his throne chair. 

“Severus! Why didn’t you remove the boy’s wand?” He hissed, sending a Crucio back at the boy.

Harry couldn’t step aside or Severus would be hit, so he stood where he was and took the curse, biting into his lip to keep from screaming. Minutes, though it seemed like hours, the curse was lifted and Harry could breath, albeit painfully.

Wheezing, Harry stood strong, his wand hand trembling from the aftershocks of the Cruciatus Curse, but he held his ground. His hand raised again, but a hand clamped on his shoulder, another slender hand removing the wand from his grip.

“My apologies, My Lord, I had assumed the boy would not have it on him since he was accosted during detention,” Severus said coolly, his dark eyes cold and fastened on Harry.

Fear and doubt swirled together making Harry feel sick. What’s he doing! He hissed mentally. Why would Severus take his wand from him, surely, he didn’t want Harry to die just standing there, did he? A sickening thought filtered into his brain, the horrifying realisation that he had been played, and Severus had been on Voldemort’s side all along.

The dark smirk on the professor’s lips told Harry everything he needed to know, the lips that mere hours ago, had kissed him so gently as they left for the manor to face Voldemort. The drive in Harry to fight for his life drained away until there was nothing but dull acceptance of the situation.

“Oh, dear me, Severus, I think out sweet, little, Harry here thought you were really on his side,” Voldemort tutted softly.

Severus chuckled, his eyes emotionless, lips twisted in a horrible sneer. “Yes, it would appear that way. It was a brilliant idea to get the boy to trust in me, My Lord. Ingenious, I must say.”

The Dark Lord nodded and looked sympathetically on Harry. “Yes, I quite agree. Though, you added the finishing touches by giving him the Resurrection Stone to see his beloved family.”

Harry bit his tongue hard, forcing himself not to cry at the betrayal, he would not give them the satisfaction of seeing his pain. “Played me like a damn fiddle,” he muttered.

This caused a ripple of laughter about the room, leaving Harry to feel desperately lost, and hopeless. “Just get it over with,” he murmured.

Voldemort smirked. “Oh, I don’t know about that, I rather enjoy watching your misery. Ah, but time is a wasting, and no doubt the old fool is out looking for you as we speak.”

I very much doubt that, he thought, but made no move to give him anything. Harry knew the moment he told Voldemort about the Horcrux in him that he would be caged like an animal and never let out again. The Dark Lord would destroy something that kept him alive, and Harry knew just as well as he did, that the Wizarding World would be quick to turn on him and kill him to get rid of Voldemort.

“My Lord, the boy is known for wriggling out of impossible situations, perhaps it would be best if I held him in place,” Severus drawled.

“Ah, yes, good thinking, Severus. Do ensure you shield yourself correctly behind him, I’d hate to miss and kill you,” the Dark Lord cooed.

Severus moved behind Harry and clamped one hand on his shoulder, the fingers like steel and the weight heavy. Voldemort raised his wand to point at Harry, and just as the words formed on that lipless mouth, Harry felt something cold and sleek pressed into his hand.

Without thinking about it, Harry raised the wand in his hand and screamed the first curse that came to mind. “Expelliarmus!” Unlike previous times, their wands failed to connect, but the Killing Curse was rebounded with the sheer force of Harry’s spell. 

It flew past Voldemort and struck a Death Eater in the chest, killing him instantly.

Voldemort stood dumbfounded for a second before his eyes narrowed on the wand in Harry’s hand- Severus’. His red eyes fixed on the Potions Master, who stood and simply smiled condescendingly. “You should have left him alone, My Lord,” he said simply.

Harry had no time to react as the Avada Kedavra from Voldemort’s wand sped towards him, strong hands shoving him out of the way. He could only watch in horror as Severus dropped like a lead weight, his eyes closed and a soft smile on his lips.

Screaming, Harry scrambled to him, desperate to find a pulse, but there was none. Severus Snape had given his life to protect Harry, and he had no idea why, the same fate would soon befall him. The wand in his hand sang in his grip, the ebony dark against his hand.

“I’ll kill you,” he hissed, eyes locking on Voldemort. “I’m going to rip your fucking head off!”

Rising to his feet, Harry bellowed out Sectumsempra again, this time the curse almost hitting its mark. A deep cut marred Voldemort’s arm and shoulder, the marble floor quickly turning red around him. 

Howling in pain, the Dark Lord raised his wand again, and Harry let his borrowed one clatter to the floor just as the sickening green of the Killing Curse raced toward him, his heart stopping instantly, and his body dropping to cover Severus’ the same time the doors to the throne room exploded inwards.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

The soft crashing of the waves over the sand was the only noise as two wizards, one older, one much younger, sat watching the sun go down. The younger one, with black messy hair, sat with his head perched on the older one’s shoulder, a look of contentment on his young feature.

“It’s beautiful,” Harry murmured softly.

Severus glanced down at his. “Indeed, it is. I don’t think I’ve ever stopped to admire such a thing before.”

“Yeah? Me either. I never got to go to the beach, my relatives would always leave me behind alone, or I’d have to go to Mrs. Figgs. She meant well, but her house always smelled funny.”

Severus said nothing, electing to not discuss Harry’s childhood for the moment. His arm came up to wrap warmly around Harry’s shoulders. “Are you ready?”

The young man looked up and shook his head. “Not yet, just a little longer. Please?”

Severus nodded. “Of course, Harry. We can stay as long as you like.”

Harry’s gaze returned to the sunset before them, the sky deepening from a soft pink to a warm red. “You really had me going, you know? I genuinely thought you’d played me all along.”

A frown marred Severus’ features for a moment before he caught on. “Ah, yes. As I said before, Harry, I played the cold-hearted bastard well.”

“Yeah, that you did. Severus?”

“Yes, Harry?”

“Why did you kiss me?”

Severus looked down again. “Because, Harry, the connection between us is far stronger than the one Voldemort ever had with you, or one I had with Samara and Darren. From being an infant, I made it my mission to protect you, even though I was angry with you for existing. You were nought but a baby and did not deserve such strong emotion sent your way, and soon, it passed. I have protected you, pulled you from harm’s way, and shielded you with my own body. There is little I would not do to protect you.”

Harry smiled brightly and leaned up to get a kiss from the older man. “I like hearing you say it.”

Severus blinked. “Say what?”

“All of it. I suppose, in your own way, it’s a declaration of love.”

Coughing awkwardly, Severus’ pale cheeks flushed pink. “Yes, well, perhaps it is. Come, the others will be waiting for us. We need to go now, Harry,” he told the young wizard.

Bright smile in place, Harry took the slender hand in his own smaller one and bestowed a kiss on each finger. “Yeah, I know. I guess we can’t stay looking at a sunset forever.”

Severus laughed and kissed him again. “Indeed not. There are far better things in wait for us.”

Harry looked up at him uncertainly. “Do you think they’ll be okay with what we did?”

“I do, Harry. I think that, even though this is not what they would have chosen for you, your parents are extremely proud of you. Now, come, our arrival is already heavily delayed.”

Hands clasped tightly together, Harry and Severus left the beach, the sounds of the waves, and the sunset behind them. Ahead lay a new adventure, one with new and old faces. But most importantly, it was an adventure he would be taking with Severus.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Albus made to move Harry’s body from Severus’, but his hands were knocked aside by an enraged werewolf in mourning for his cub. 

“Don’t you touch them!” Remus hissed, laying Harry carefully over Severus, his head on the older man’s chest. “I hope you’re pleased with yourself, Albus. Harry and Severus died for your stupid war!”

The aged wizard looked sadly down at the two men. “Remus, if I could have done it any other way, I would have. Harry had a piece of Voldemort inside him, there was no way to extricate that without Harry dying, the result would have been the same!”

Remus whirled on him and snarled viciously. “Then Harry should have left, run away and let Voldemort have his bloody victory! At least he would still be alive!”

Albus stepped back carefully. “Then we would all have been left to suffer endlessly. Harry did something no other person could, he ended a war which has terrorised the wizarding world for decades! Yes, he had to die for it, and I regret nothing more than a young life being cut short, but there was no other way.”

The werewolf stared at the corpse of the once Dark Lord and spat at his feet in disgust. “Harry was the bravest young man I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. You left that boy in a home he was neither loved nor cared for. Lily would be ashamed of you. You know full well that if Sirius couldn’t look after him, then she wanted me to.”

“I’m sorry, Remus. I truly am, but with your transformation every month you would have been a danger to Harry.”

Remus laughed coldly. “No, Albus, I would have found a way. Molly would have looked after him, or Andromeda, or even Severus would have. But you left him at the mercy of those Muggles. It was a miracle he survived each summer.”

A heavy sigh from Albus. “There are a great many things I regret, Remus. I do not need you to remind me of all my faults and poor decisions. Harry and Severus are at peace, together. We can take comfort in the knowledge that Harry is reunited with those he loved most.”

But Remus wasn’t listening, instead, he was looking at the far end of the throne room of Riddle Manor where the late evening sunlight poured in through the large window. There he could see a waving Harry, a smiling James, Lily blowing him kisses, Sirius making faces, and the tiniest of smiles on Severus’ face as he held Harry’s other hand. 

Harry had finally found his home. 

~ Finis ~

**Author's Note:**

> Please note that Fanfiction.net is not currently allowing me to upload the document- as soon as the support team respond to me, I will upload (if they have a solution).


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